See what happens when I let my thoughts build up.

There has been shitloads I've wanted to write about all month, and probably even back into July. I find I 1) don't remember want I wanted to write about when I get home or 2) I can't bring myself to get onto the computer. Mostly because Dave won't leave me alone when I'm trying to write. For the most part I let him play that fucking MMORPG without bugging him, but I can't write down my thoughts in private EVER. If I wanted him to know what I was doing, I would announce it before I get to it. It's almost like the sound of the keyboard being typed on makes him so curious he can't stand it.... he leaves me alone if I'm just browsing the internet.
My year anniversary with Brandt Affixing came and went. I wanted to write about that when it happened two weeks ago but my evenings were packed with rehearsing with my mom, trying to get to school to take the math placement, and trying to clean the bedroom. Cleaning the bedroom was Dave's goal yet he has managed to not have picked up a single thing where I did 4 loads of laundry, picked up trash, cleaned some of the bathroom, and put up some of my crafting stuff. He played WoW. Ugh! Anyway, there wasn't any celebration at work or anything, but it was nice to have my boss mention it, I had been wondering when my anniversary was. August 8.
The first weekend in August a friend held a Harry Potter costume party to celebrate the new book and the new movie. She held one last year as well, and both were great fun. I couldn't think of a character to go as so I decided to be a random wizard trying to pass as a muggle. That's fun because you just throw together odd pieces of clothing. As I was getting ready I realized I had pieces to be able to go as Tonks. I thought, hey, that's a good idea, so I dress as Tonks. When Dave and I get to the party, the hostess ... well, she doesn't jump down my throat but manages to make me feel like a dumbass by saying she was Tonks and told everyone else not to dress as Tonks. That's true, but it was also two months earlier, so it was an honest mistake of forgetting; the party wasn't exactly my highest priority to think about since I wasn't hosting. But anyway, the hostess made foods mentioned to be present at the feasts in the Great Hall: roast beef, turkey, meat pies, some potato dish I don't know the name of, green beans, stuffing, gravy, pumpkin pastsies, Bertie Bott's, chocolate frogs, and a fruit dessert with angel food cake and whip cream. Oh! And we had butterbeer. I know I'm forgetting some foods. There was even a potions table for creating your own recipes (of mixed drinks). It was a lot of fun and really delicious food. Lots of talk about the last book and latest movie went around, as well as gaming talk since it was a bunch of geeks getting together. D&D, ampguard, the Cam, WoW, Everquest, cowboy action shooting (I want to try that one!! What would feel sexier than shooting off guns in a corset and skirt?), and who knows what else. Dave and I left about 10ish, though it would have been easy to stay there longer.
The day after the party, Visions had a dance performance over in Addison for the Taste of Dance Addison. NTMEDA had signed up for the performance and was looking for different styles of belly dance to present and they asked us to represent the fusion style. That was fun, we performed Perfect Lie and got our picture in the Dallas Morning News and got slammed by the dance critic. That dance critic doesn't ever seem to like any performance she ever sees. A friend of ours got pissed off because the critic was unflattering to all the bellydancers (the friend knows us all and has seen us all dance) and wrote a letter into the paper. She basically said that the critic was impairing the general public from attending dance performances because the critic is so negative so constantly, and got a reply back from one of the employees at the paper that he agrees. That rocks. I've been keeping my eye out in the paper to see if the letter got published but I haven't seen it yet. Bummer. While we were at the location, the photographer-husband of Trudi's took some photos of us in the garden area nearby. I can't wait to see those. Some of them should be fun.
Mom and I danced our 70's number at Ya Halla Y'all this past weekend and won 2nd place in the duet/trio category. It seemed we danced it pretty well, but the audience went crazy the entire time we were dancing. Though some of that was the music we picked: "That's the Way I Like It" by K.C. and the Sunshine Band. I can't wait until we get the DVD Mom ordered of the performance. We performed the same number at the end of July at the Kismet in Carrollton. We were able to get some constructive criticism from that performance that really helped out for Ya Halla; we focused on cleaning up those parts and choreographed a better ending to the song.
So I'm all signed up for school now, but with no math class despite taking the placement test twice. The first time I was only 11 points short of placing out of the remedial algebra. The second time I was 5 points short and completed more problems in less time. I wish I could be given a break. I mean I haven't taken an algebra class in 11 years and I'm only 5 fucking points short of getting into the class I want. Unfortunately I can only take the test twice per semester. I will have to go and find an algebra workbook somewhere and work on it over Christmas break. Maybe if I study hard and do well enough on the test I can place out of the class I'm trying to get into which wouldn't leave me a semester behind of where I want to be. Oh, to dream big. I digress.
I was going to go ahead and suck it up and take the remedial class because what's one semester when the school offers a wintermester and 3 summermesters I can make it up with? But by the time I registered the one class they had scheduled for that section was already filled up. Oh I was so angry. Soooo angry. See, I had been putting off taking the test because of Dave. Monday I didn't go, I wanted more study time. Tuesday I didn't go because Dave and I went to get my car registered but didn't (another adventure gone terribly wrong), by the time we got back home for me to get to the school the testing center would have been closed. Wednesday we had booked for a week or two to go to my parents' and finally pick up the top piece to Grandma's hutch, but because it was raining Dave wanted to cancel. I don't know why because the piece fits in the car with the trunk closed. I think it was just an excuse because guess what he did all night - play WoW. Thursday he wanted to go grocery shopping right after work so I came straight home. Shocker: we didn't go and guess what he did all night - play WoW. Friday I thought he would want to go grocery shopping so I came straight home. Repeat second to last sentence. I finally went Saturday after Visions dance rehearsal and Dave even came along, though I'm not sure why. I registered Sunday, I couldn't find my PIN number to log into the student services on Saturday, and the class I could take was already filled up. The government class I had planned to take was also filled up. I was wanting to take the 2 nights a week class, leaving school at a decent 8pm instead of the 1 night a week class leaving school at 10 pm. Like I said before: sooooo angry.
However I did get to sign up for the 2 dance classes I wanted: modern I and hip hop. My modern class in the spring term really helped me to loose fat and get stronger so I wanted to take a couple of dance classes this term. I'm hoping to loose more weight. My modern I teacher from the spring semester is the teacher teaching the hip hop class. I'm so glad, I think she's a great teacher. The teacher for the modern I class this term should also be good; I enjoyed every choreography of hers that was performed at the spring recital. Should be good. The government class I'm hoping is better than the one I was in last year. I'm crossing all my fingers and praying to the classroom and teacher gods. I'm also taking a public speaking class. It's required for the Associate of Arts degree. I'm not sure I fully understand the reason, I can kind of see why but the logic is thin. I don't think I'll have any trouble with the speaking class unless we also have to do lots of writing. Hate that. It would be better if someone just gave me something to read and said "Make it convincing." I can do that. Writing smacks of effort. Which reminds me of the grades I got for the spring term. Shocking it was.

I've been wanting to really start working hard on getting into shape but everytime I ask Dave to go on a walk or head down to the rec center he says no. It's really hard for me to go alone because I feel like everyone is staring at me, judging me. It doesn't help that any time I look at a random person they are staring me. The few times Dave has gone on a walk with me he wants a short, slow walk. That doesn't do anything for me. While I may be out of shape I still work in a warehouse and need to take long, brisk walks to feel like I'm getting exercise. I'm so fed up with being overweight and feeling too tired to do anything at home, I've reach the point I'm willing to try the diet pills you can find at the grocery and convienent stores. I also keeping meaning to sit down and read Dave's Weight Watchers packet I ganked from him. He's not using it so I figured I should. I did the online WW for a bit and managed to lose 10 or 15 pounds. But then I stopped using it and stopped counting points and cancelled my subscription. Maybe I can work it with the materials Dave has and not paying $15 a month.
We've had a couple meetings for Diffusion but things have started slowly this year. We have some rough drafts for our press release, teaser flyers, and audition flyers. We also have price estimates for t-shirts and stickers and a list of companies to contact for ad space in the flyer and to be corporate sponsors. With Diffusion at the end of January, most of the stuff we've just begun should be done so we can focus solely on recruiting dancers to audition and hitting up companies for flyer ads. We didn't have our first meeting until May, so we didn't really get started on things until a couple weeks ago. We do at least have a venue and that is the Most Important Thing for the event. I'm looking forward to this year's show, I think we can easily top what we did last year and can get the dance community excited about participating and watching. Luckily some of the hard things, like the press packets and fundraisers, will be ready to go for next year. We'll have plenty of time and minimal planning to get those up and running. I started on some flyer ideas and Lisha sent out the press release. I'm waiting to hear back anything concrete about what to change for the flyers, especially the audition one. I want to have that ready and printed up for next week when school starts.
A couple of weeks ago I was out shopping with my Mom and decided to purchase fabric for a new faire costume to sew up for me. I got some pink crinkle linen for the chemise, a dusty rose heavy weight cotton for the skirt, and three different fabrics for the bodice. I found a floral tapestry that I actually like and I picked just a bustier bodice to use with the fabric. I also have a berry cordoroy and a forest green cordoroy. Seeing as how I have 2 different sets of bodice patterns I thought I would grab several different fabrics so I can wear my choice. I have the bodice, skirt and chemise all cut out. I have most of the chemise put together, I just need to buy more fabric for the sleeves. I bought all that Joann's had but it wasn't quite enough. The skirt is mostly sewn together, I just need to attach the pockets and sew together the front and back pieces and then add the waistband. I'm saving the bodice for last. I've got to sew through the tapestry material, heavyweight interfacing, and the lining. I don't think my size 16 needles are going to cut it. I think I'll be needing a 20, if that's even a real size. I have plenty of the tapestry left over to make a full sized bodice and little purse/pouch. I'm looking to have this complete by the first weekend in October because Dave and I are planning to go to Houston for TRF. If my chemise doesn't work out, I may just by one at faire from one of the clothing shops.
I think that's it for now. I want to write a separate entry for all the movies I've seen; I used to be real good about writing my own little movie reviews but I haven't done that in about a year. And I also eventually want to get to an entry on how disappointed I was with the last Harry Potter book even though everyone else thinks it was perfect.

Just another day

Dear god, it's only Tuesday. Really, I want it to be Friday. It feels like a Friday; I've had a week's worth of problems at work in a day and a half and it's mostly because of me being the middle man communicator between our customer's and my boss.

The VNA job requires a live card sample to be approved before we affix to the carriers. Well the cards that were run were not run well. There was a line halo on the shadows behind the people and I didn't look at the samples I grabbed before I sent them. So intially this situation is partly my fault, I should have looked closer at them. By now I should know better than to trust the press operators to print quality jobs. Anyway so our contact for this job calls me up with this problem and I tell him that I will send him new samples after we check the rolls and throw away the bad stuff. The master roll finally gets to the slitter and the operator goes through the whole thing and it's all no good. The entire 5000 piece run is bad. So I pull the absolute best looking cards I can find and there is no halo on them, just the shadow behind their heads but the shadow is a bit dark. When I ask my boss about it she says to send 4 from the batch she signed off on before the press run. While I'm telling her he asked for 30 samples she is shaking her head at me and points to the four and says send those. Well crap. So I can piss off the customer or piss off my boss. What a great feeling that is! I decide to go with what the boss lady says because she can always smooth things over with the customer.

He calls while I'm at lunch. He's unhappy that I only sent the four but that while they look tons better the right side is slightly darker than the left. He wants to come in and look at what we've run and I freeze. My brain stops working because what we've run is trash. It's no good. If he sees the whole job has that line halo he will be pissed beyond words and we could lose his business. I tell him I need to make sure that someone would be available to show him the rolls here at our plant and that I'll call him back. Shit. He has to know that something is going on. I don't know enough about the press to be able to lie and assure a customer sufficiently. Luckily, boss lady will be talking with the customer rep when he comes in at 15:30.

Boss lady has a weird filing system too. She was looking for files I was keeping for when we receive invoices and she ended up just taking them all. I think she was none too happy with how I had the files but she puts them through too many unnecessary steps when I just put them all together until I receive the invoice and then they go to A/P. It's easy and they are all in the same place. I am getting frustrated because there are hardly any written in stone procedures for anything. And it is impossible to get any of the office training from start to finish. You start with the end of a process and then you learn the beginning and then learn the middle, then you learn what to do before a process starts. GAH! When quoting our prices to customers, there are more ways that are done than there are people to work on quotes. Yes, that's right individuals are not consistent in how they quote. I would love to have set standards and formulas that we use. One of the things that really drives me mad is two of the quoters will quote per thousand form on multiple up forms when we should be quote per thousand card. We are, after all, a card company NOT a forms company.

Got back from a tour meeting with one of suppliers. We buy our thermal and impact print ribbon from them and they wanted to see what we do. That was enjoyable. They were trying to sell us on RFID for our company but they were talking to the wrong people. If it were up to me I would have signed up on the spot, but that is a decision for the owners. The paperwork we keep around could be cut significantly with some sort of scanning system for production and shipping. Be easier to keep track of orders. But, not my decision.

There are other orders that are driving me bonkers. The forms people are really slow at getting proofs back. I don't know if it is because they are busy or just because it is standard practice. I have two orders from this same company and both orders need to be done NOW but they only gave us 2 weeks lead time. We really need a month, especially when we are taking care of the forms. I cannot wait for those orders to be completed and filed away. I don't understand why we don't get the software to complete all the pre-press proofing and re-proofing in house. We would save money and so much time, and I would be very willing to learn the software. I wish I knew of a way to present that idea to the boss lady so she doesn't nix it outright.

I'm ready to go home.

I didn't sleep well last night. Or the night before. I tried both evenings to go to bed early but I believe I ended up falling asleep somewhere around 11 or 11:30. And last night I kept having my tornado dreams. I've actually been expecting to have them sooner because of all the rain that we have been getting. I didn't have any of the weird ones where it turns out I have either the ability to control where they go or they just happen to miss me everytime, but I can't recall anymore what was going on. I really hate the ones where there are dozens on the horizon and they keep switching paths.
I did some sewing last night. I set up my sewing machine from Christmas that my family chipped in and bought for me a few months back, but hadn't gotten around to sewing a project. I started a pair of harem pants that I've been waiting to do for a year or two. I got all the major seams closed up and I just need to make the casing for the elastic and then put the elastic in. I like sewing harem pants, they are easy and are baggy enough that cuts and alignment can be fudged with no one the wiser. I have enough material left over to make a matching turkish vest, but once again I forgot to make a copy of Mom's patterns when I was over on Sunday. We always get distracted with shopping. I need to remember to get a copy this week. I'm half tempted to try it without the pattern, but I really like this fabric and since I haven't seen it in the stores in a long time I don't want to ruin what little I have. Although... I just had a thought. I bet I could cut apart a t-shirt and make a modernized, slip-on turkish vest. I'd probably still need to re-inforce under the bust so it doesn't just roll up, but that seems like it would be pretty simple. But anyway I am hoping to finish off my pants tonight and then finally play with the fancy stitches. I didn't do that when I was just practicing the basic stitches because I have to switch out the presser feet and didn't feel like doing it at the time. I'm looking forward to detailing my shirts and pants with the fancy stitches. Should be fun.
The fall semester starts up in about a month and I haven't settled on my schedule yet. I want to take 2 dance classes this term because I loved the modern class I took in the spring and the other is a hip-hop/jazz class and I've been wanting to learn both. I still need to talk to my boss about it because I will have to leave work early, but I don't think it will be a problem. I also want to take a math class. Both to get it out of the way for the Texas degree requirements and because I think I want to take some higher math and physics classes. Since I've been re-reading my quantum mechanics books I've been wanting to learn the equations involved with the theories instead of just the concepts. I'm dreading taking the placement test though; I'm afraid I won't remember enough to place out of the remedial algebra and the last thing I want is to take algebra a freaking third time. It isn't interesting or difficult enough to suffer through twice, much less three times. Hmmm, I could study up some on my own.... uch! Math on my free time? I may go spend a couple of hours in a book store or two and glance through some books and see if I can remember anything or not. Then I also have to take American Government at some point but I'm torn as to whether or not I want torture myself by taking a full semester of it, or torture myself by taking a crammed summer semester of it. The teacher I had when I tried to take it last year just completely ruined it for me. She literally made lists on the white board that consisted of information we read straight from the book. We basically read the book in class after we read it at home to be prepared for class. No critical thinking, no discussion on whys or hows or what ifs or anything. It was terrible. Awful. I had to drop it. What killed me is after all the writing of "ideas" on the board straight from the book she wanted us to get together in groups and complete an intensive project. I was floored. She did NOTHING in her class to prepare us for the project she assigned. I think she was the second or third worst teacher I've ever had and that's only because I've had two teachers that I DESPISED. Unfortunately I'll never forget Mr. Wagner and Mrs. Warner. Beasts of people. I swear they hated kids, shouldn't have been teachers.
Visions had a dance performance Saturday, we performed 'Sema' at the Ft. Worth Kismet. I think it may have been the first Kismet in Ft. Worth, but I'm not sure about that. It was a small, intimate venue and even though it could have used a raised stage it was a nice place to dance. I look forward to seeing photographs and the video of our performance. It seemed to go well enough, the audience went crazy for us like they always do. Truthfully, I was surprised there was an audience left. We danced second to last out of the entire evening and the audience usually thins out significantly by the second half. It felt liked we danced well; there were minor bobbles and we lost a candle (LED, no worries) right at the beginning but I'm sure we were more together than I think we were. I know I kept screwing up getting into the circle even during rehearsal, plus we did most of our tweaking the two practices before the performance one of which was the same day as the performance. But I KNOW there were kick ass spots where our choreography looked awesome and we danced it tight. I think my favourite was the hip circle contagion and the criss-crossing diagonal hip hits. I can't wait to find a dance space I can rent that has mirrors. I have 4 pieces that are partially choreographed in my head and I want to finish them off and teach them to the troupe so we have more pieces to pull out of our electic hat. One of them is going to be purely modern with no belly dance influences. And I have a solo I've been stewing on for at least a year.
We haven't had a Diffusion meeting since May, and that has been our only one this year. I'm getting antsy, all our deadlines for submissions are coming up. We haven't made flyers or emails or posts about it. I think we did finally get a venue. Still need the press packets and a logo. I really need to take a day and go to Mom's storage unit so I can find that button maker. I hope she still has it, even used those things run about $150. I think having Diffusion buttons to hand out would be neat. Hmmmm, I wonder if I could use my sewing machine to make little Visions In Dance patches, or Diffusion patches once we get a logo. Neat idea. Oh, auctions. I think Lisha already had that as an idea to get us some money but I need to mention it in case I'm remembering wrong. Flyers, flyers, flyers. I think I'll make one up and see what the Diffusion group thinks. Since school is starting soon, and summer classes are still going on, it would be good to get the audition flyers up at the dance departments at school. Want to make a choreography or two for the show, too. Too much to do.
Ok, my train of thought was interrupted with switching jobs at work so I have nothing else useful to say. But I like how much I got down. If I wait until I get home to write most of the thoughts have fled my poor little brain. I have too much thinking time at work, especially when I'm running the printers like today. I hate numbering but the girl I had partially trained decided to quit and there isn't really anyone else here that has shown interest in doing this job. I'm surprised. It's such a do nothing job, and most of the people are so uninterested in working I thought most everyone here would want to do it. I can't wait to give someone this boring job, I really like doing the office work I've been learning. Lots of details, but I do have to talk to people on the phone. Mostly they are nice people to talk to though because they aren't retail customers. We're their middle man for printed products. It's so nice to have a real job.

I Forgot!

I forgot I had a Blogger account. I have been wanting to write for the past several months but I have been hesitant because the people in my life right now who read my LJ seem to go out of their way to misunderstand what I write in my journal and then complain about what is on my mind and what I need to get off my chest. It's too frustrating and maddening to want to deal with. I'm sad I feel like I can't continue to write in the journal I've had for six or seven years now. I've thought about making the posts private only, but whenever I do that I don't write the same. Oddly enough, I feel I'm more honest in my writing when I think of myself as an unnamed, faceless voice in the writhing, noisy mass of the interwebs rather than hiding behind an obvious wall.

I'm torn on whether to just start writing or to maybe recap what's been going on in my life because somethings I remember, but most things I forget.

Work has been a mixed bag. I've gotten promoted out of the warehouse and into the office. Their faith in me and their recognition in my skills and abilities has been wonderful and long in coming (I've worked too hard for too many other companies that cared nothing for their employees). But the more I'm trained in office procedures, the more of them I forget. My boss keeps coming to me to remind me of the same things I'm not doing over and over again. I'm doing my best to remember everything, but I always managed to forget to complete at least one step in a procedure. She has got to be tired of coming to me because I'm sick of feeling like I'm doing everything wrong. I'm hoping from here on out I'll be getting better. My jobs aren't being mixed as much (I still do the numbering and the occassional fill-in job in the warehouse), and I'm able to complete more of the orders in less sittings. *shakes head* I will do better.

I finally got a rec center membership yesterday, and I dropped by today right after work to rent out a dance room. The jerk at counter was completely unhelpful. He basically told me that I couldn't rent it tonight and I couldn't have a schedule of when the rooms are available so that I can come back when I can use one. His excuse was that it changes all the time, which makes zero sense because there has to be a schedule for the classes they offer or the rooms would get double and triple booked. Jerk. I really, really want to work on my dancing in a space with mirrors.

I think I'll go play with my hedgehogs until I come up with more meaningless meditations to inscribe here. I'm glad I clicked on the link in an email I thought was spam. It ended up being from the husband of a high school friend who had a baby and the link brought me to his blog where I entered a comment and rediscovered my user name.

Happy 4th.